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The choice of spouses and its effect on children

The choice of spouses and its effect on children
Prof. Kwakib of Ahmed al-Fadhli
Department of Quranic Sciences and Islamic Education
College of Education – University of Kufa
First: The foundations of choosing a wife and its effect on the newborn
In his teachings, Islam took into account the choice of the wife from the hereditary side and the social aspect that she lived and its repercussions on her behavior and her behavior. The Messenger of God (may God’s prayers and peace be upon him and his family) said: ((Choose for your kindness as the uncle is one of the lost)) () He said (may God bless him and his God) ((Choose your kindness, because race is a trick)) ().
The Messenger (may God’s prayers and peace be upon him) emphasizes the choice of the wife from the families that bear the noble traits, due to the influence of heredity on the formation of the woman and the formation of the child she gives birth to, based on this basis, so he chose Khadija (peace be upon her) so she gave birth to the best women Fatima Al-Zahra (upon her) Peace be upon him. The family of the Prophet (peace be upon them) followed in this biography, so they chose their wives from honorable families ().
Besides selection on the basis of heredity, Islam emphasized the selection of the wife from the good social environment that earned him goodness and good behavior, so he warned against the unfit environment in which we live, so he warned against marrying beautiful women who grew up in the seedbed of badness, it was narrated from the Prophet (may God bless him and his God And he said, He said: ((O people, you green and addicted to it) It was said: O Messenger of God, and there is no green of blood addiction. He said ((may God’s prayers and peace be upon him)) the beautiful woman in the seedbed of badness)) ().
And Imam Ali (peace be upon him) warned against marrying fools, transferring this trait to children, and counting her ability to raise the child properly, he said: ((Do not marry you foolish, if she is accompanied by misfortune and her son is lost)) ().
On the authority of Muhammad bin Muslim, he said: Abu Ja`far (peace be upon him) said that a man came to the Prophet (may God’s prayers and peace be upon him and his family) who used to marry him in marriage, and the Messenger of God (may God’s prayers and peace be upon him and his family) said: ((marry you with the same religion and raise your hands)) () ).
The woman who is descended from a valid lineage and from a valid family, and religiosity is an attribute inherent to her, because the biography of the educational movement is progressing forward, and her upbringing of children is in line with the rules laid down by Islam in matters of education, so the educational approach followed is agreed upon by the spouses, neither contradicting nor She opposes, and the wife is keen on the success of the educational process and considers it a legal mandate, above all, this mandate avoids any sound practice affecting the psychological, emotional and mental development of children ().
Marriage for both men and women provides one of the greatest pleasures of the world and this pleasure is divided into two parts: housing, psychological comfort, and enjoyment and physical pleasure. The Almighty said: {And from His signs that He will create wives for you from yourselves, that you may dwell in them and make between you affection and mercy for you.) And housing for women includes housing for the soul, habitation of the body, affection, and mercy among the most beautiful feelings that God created. If all this is found with a sense of solution and guidance to instinct and the pleasure of God Almighty, this pleasure has completed and nothing lacked, and this was helped by the first origin of creation, and the instinct of inclination that created it. God is in both the male and female of the other and seeking these goods, and housing by marriage is required by law, as God Almighty said: {And when he spent more of it on her, we married her} ().
A man should pay attention to the characteristics of someone who wants to marry her, so he will only marry a chaste, decent, good-natured woman who will help him in the affairs of the world and the Hereafter, on behalf of the sincere Imam (peace be upon him) to some of his companions when he said: I have been interested in marrying: ((See where you place yourself and who you share in Malik and look at your religion and your secret, if you must be active and early attributed to good and good manners)) ().
And peace be upon him: ((The woman is a chain, so look at what she mimics, and the woman has no danger, neither for their own good nor for their goodness. As for their goodness, there is no danger of gold and silver, she is better than gold and silver.
A man should not limit his view to the beauty of the woman and her wealth, for it was narrated that a Prophet (may God’s prayers and peace be upon him and God) said: “(He who marries a woman who does not marry her except for her beauty does not see what is required of her, and whoever marries her for her money does not marry her except for him and God is all to him, so you must The same religion)) ()
Just as a man should pay attention to the characteristics of whom he chooses to marry. Likewise, a woman and her guardians should take care of the qualities of whom he chooses to do so, so marry only a chaste religious man of good morals, for the Messenger of God ((peace and blessings of God be upon him and his family)): (Marriage is slavery, so if one of you marries a child, then he has given her Let one of you look at someone who is gracious to his dignity)) ().
Second: The foundations for choosing a husband and its effect on the newborn:
The father has the largest role in bringing up children and preparing them psychologically and spiritually, and that Islam emphasized in the first stages of his choice according to the Islamic scales in which he takes into account the inheritance and the environment in which he grew up and the noble and valid qualities in it, because it is the role model that guides children and reflects his morals and attributes on them, in addition to The wife (the mother) acquires some of his qualities and morals through continuous coexistence, and the noble Messenger (may God’s prayers and peace be upon him and God) has emphasized the selection of a competent husband and he has known him (may God’s prayers and peace be upon him and his family): ((The sufficient is to be chaste and has a left)) () .
And Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) warned against marrying the mentally ill man, so he said: ((They got married in the form () and do not marry them, because the woman takes the etiquette of her husband and defeats her on his religion))).
And Islam made religiosity a measure of choosing a husband. The Messenger of God (may God’s prayers and peace be upon him and his family) said: “(If you accept his creation and religion, then marry him)” ().
The biography of the Messenger (peace and blessings of God be upon him and God) and the biography of the people of the house (peace be upon them) was based on the choice of competency for their sons and daughters, so the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his God and peace) did not marry Fatima from the companions, and his answer to them was that he was waiting for the judiciary to come down, Then her husband, by order of God, to Ali Ibn Abi Talib ().

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